More like ramblings, really.
I was thinking that even though the sixth season is pretty bad, and sometimes doesn't even look and feel like SPN at all, it got me rambling again, about family, the road, life, death and so on.
Because, well, that's simple, every time I watch a show, but I mean *extensively* watching, with all my being and stuff, I tend to become like the characters, to think and act like them, unconsciously so, but still.
When, one summer, one very hot summer, I recall, I watch the first two seasons of Dexter in a row, I was all detached from reality, and acting weird, but that was nice. When I watch Psych, each year, I'm Shawn in my head, and when I watch Supernatural (and God knows I watched this show a lot more that any other show, except for the few when I was younger), it tends to leave marks.
And the other day my mom was talking about my sister and I, and some random thing about when we were younger, and I couldn't help myself, I just smiled like a goof thinking that's exactly like Sam and Dean. Because, yeah, the age gap is somewhat off, and they're guys, and well, my mom didn't get killed by a demon, but it's that kind of archetypal relationship between siblings that you can (I can) relate to. Same thing (exact same thing, that's way creepy when you think about it) with Full Metal Alchemist, and I can tell you that anime messed me up badly. (Now, I don't even know what I was saying, and I just wanna watch FMA again.)
And well, yeah, I can relate. But not really with season 6. I mean, it used to be about two guys hiding their emotions so well they could keep secrets from seasons onward, and their lives on the road. It was simple: monsters are real, and the Winchesters are out to gank them. The destiny thingy that runs in the family added a tad more to the show, but it was really just about them.
And now. I don't know, I have a hard time focussing. I watch, only because it brings more food for thoughts about those times they don't speak about anymore. The past, the life on the road.
Family is no longer a real notion, because every one can be resurrected at will (when it suits the writers, that is), nothing is sacred anymore. I miss those times.
But then it makes me crazy talking about a show. I need to get a grip, but I really can't. Because it's engraved in me, it's part of me now, the same way any other crap show is. It's not a crap show, though. More like a wild, crazy, self conscious monstruosity that should be dead, but which is looking for new ways to stay alive. You don't feel like putting it out of its misery, even though you know you should. It's tiring.
I miss the music. I miss pre-Hell Dean, and I miss the simplicity and the inventivity of past hunts. Now it's become too big. It's exactly what happened to X-Files. From a small thing, full of inventivity, centered on the two partners and a handful of cases in backward counties, it drivelled into a too big, awfully impracticable conspiration story. Buffy did that too, but in the end it turned out alright. I still have faith, you know, but it's really small and dull, and the show is not reassuring me at all. What about the music, the family business and the amulet. What do we care about the war in Heaven and the Purgatory. Let's go back to the road and the inventive cases in backward towns full of colorful characters. Enough with the demons and the angels.
I'm not saying that's all bad, I'm just nostalgic about a time that we won't ever see again. Because Dean's been tortured and broken, because Sam is soulless and pretty much fucked up. Because their destiny has taken over their lives anyway. Sobs.
